The Breast Seat In The House Cryptid Padded String Bikini Top
My eyes are up here. Well, his are, anyway.
Give the crowd a terminal case of whiplash with this chaotic string bikini top. Plastered directly over your chest is a wide-eyed, twitchy little cyber cryptid who looks just as shocked to be there as everyone else is to see him. With an unsettling neon-orange stare and a toothy grin that screams "I have zero personal boundaries," this original illustration turns your chest into prime real estate for a digital gremlin who clearly scored the absolute best seat in the house. Perfect for pool parties, raves, or whenever you want a witty, unhinged defense mechanism against unwanted stares.
- The Ultimate Eye-Contact Enforcer: He’s staring directly back at anyone trying to sneaky-look, effectively fighting awkward vibes with pure, unadulterated chaotic energy.
- Premium Shock Value: The hyper-saturated cosmic purples and glowing alien details ensure this twitchy little guy looks crisp, vivid, and delightfully stressed out.
- Fully Adjustable Chaos: Classic triangle-style ties let you position this bug-eyed creep exactly where he can cause the maximum amount of sensory overload.
More details
- 78% polyester 22% elastane
- Heavyweight fabric (8.55 oz)
- Flexible and adjustable straps
- Soft and stretchy material with UPF 50+
- Sizes up to 6XL
- Removable padding for comfort
- Fabric is OEKO-TEX 100 standard certified
- Fabric is Global Recycled Standard (GRS) certified
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: EmiVinni
- Email: contact@support.emivinni.store
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. To make your All-Over Print Recycled Padded String Bikini Top last longer, thoroughly rinse it off after each use and get rid of any chlorine/salt residue. Meets the flammability, and formaldehyde, azo dyes, lead, cadmium, bisphenols, and phthalates level requirements. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
The Breast Seat In The House Cryptid Padded String Bikini Top Size Guide
| Size label | A | B |
|---|---|---|
|
2XS
|
6 1/2
|
7.1
|
|
XS
|
6.7
|
7 1/2
|
|
S
|
7.1
|
7.9
|
|
M
|
7.3
|
8.3
|
|
L
|
7.9
|
9.1
|
|
XL
|
8 1/2
|
9.8
|
|
2XL
|
9.1
|
10.6
|
|
3XL
|
9.6
|
11.4
|
|
4XL
|
10.2
|
12.2
|
|
5XL
|
10.8
|
13
|
|
6XL
|
11.4
|
13.8
|
